Getting remarried and concerned about doing it “right”? Check out a few etiquette FAQs regarding second weddings, and remember, it’s your special day, so do what you want!
What’s the Etiquette For Announcing the Wedding?
If one or both of you have children, they should be the first to know. Tell your families next, and ex-spouses you have said children with. Then feel free to tell your friends….if getting married and recently widowed or divorced, you may opt to skip the official newspaper announcement. Engagement parties are appropriate, but you could choose to throw a less-formal affair at a bar or restaurant, or family home.
How About Registering for Gifts?
You probably have all the home stuff you require, but that doesn’t mean you can’t register! Register for things you need, or fun stuff such as camping equipment. Honeymoon registries are also appropriate, as are those that serve as donations to favorite charities. Whatever else, accept every present given to you graciously.
What About a Shower?
Again, you likely have the stuff you’d normally receive at a wedding shower, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get together with girlfriends for a special spa weekend or other adventure. You may also choose to take a class together or simply have a fun night out on the town!
Is it Okay to Wear White? Are Veils Okay Too?
Yes, white came to symbolize virginity and purity, but before that it was the color of celebration. If you feel “virginal white” is too much, think assorted off-white colors, such as cream hues, or any other color you like that complements skin tone. Think lavender and pink! As for veils, they still symbolize being “untouched,” so you might opt for a beautiful wide-brimmed hat or floral arrangement instead.
Can I Have Attendants?
Well, you definitely need witnesses for the signing of your marriage license! And while many second wedding parties aren’t as large as first ones, it’s still perfectly okay to have various friends and family members stand up there with you. You could also have your children stand with you if applicable.
Who Should Escort Me?
Should the thought of Dad giving you away the second time make you feel awkward, feel free to walk down the aisle by yourself. But if you really want your papa to do it, that’s fine too!
I Had a Huge, Formal First Wedding. Should My Second Be Low-Key?
If your first wedding was a big to-do, going the huge shindig route may remind you too much of the first time ’round. But if you eloped the first time or went to your city hall, feel free to do it up right. And even if you did have a big formal wedding the first time, you can still do it the second!
How Do I Word My Invitations?
Parents are generally included in first-time wedding invites, since they’re the ones paying for the darn things. Second weddings are often funded by the couple, but you can still include your ‘rents. A good example is “Rebecca Baker Smith and Jonathan Simonsen together with their parents request the honor of your presence at their marriage etc.”
If you still go by your first married name, it’s appropriate to use it on the invitations.
There’s tons of cool ways to incorporate your children into your second wedding ceremony. Have them escort you down the aisle, honor them as attendants, ask them to do readings, or consider going the family vow route. Sand ceremonies are another option. Whatever you decide to do, make sure the kids are comfortable in their respective roles and want to be involved. Forcing them into anything isn’t going to help!
Do We Have to Tell Our Exes?
If you have children with these people, yes, it’s usually a good idea. If not, you aren’t obligated to let them know, however if you’re still on good terms you may wish to alert them.