Already Married, Now Time For The Ceremony


Question: My husband is in the army and we are just now able to have a ceremony due to deployments. We’ve set the date (for the third time…crossing our fingers) now we need to know how to go about invitations.

First of all how should we word the invitations? He and I are paying for everything so how should we word the invites? Do I use my maiden name or do we say Mr. and Mrs.? Do we say join us for our wedding ceremony and reception? Second of all, all of our family will be coming from out of town. What do I need to do about save the date cards? How soon in advance should they be sent out?

Remarriage Expert

You’re already married and have been so for almost 2 years now. You cannot be married again. So, we cannot offer suggestions to word invitations for this event. Perhaps waiting to have a vow renewal ceremony for a significant anniversary is in order? If you would like to have your marriage blessed in church there are ceremnuies to service those needs. Please use the navigation at left of the page to find more information on those ceremonies.

Rebecca Black, Etiquette Consultant, Etiquette Now

I completely agree. Just ask yourself these same questions. How could you write an invitation for a wedding for married people? How could you use your maiden name when it isn’t yours to use anymore? So, would you invite guests to a wedding for Mrs. and Mr. Already Married?

Even a belated wedding reception wouldn’t be appropriate at this late date. It would be more of an anniversary party since you have been married for more than a year. Please read more about vow renewal etiquette for a future vow renewal. These should never appear to be a wedding, so need to be planned very carefully.

Well I didn’t ask if I could or should have a wedding. I want a wedding ceremony and a wedding reception. I guess things are different when you’re in the military. They don’t care that you’ve picked a date to get married they deploy you anyway and I won’t let them take away the day that I have dreamed about since childhood. It is going to be a small ceremony with family and close friends on the guest list. I’m sure however I word the invitations they will know what I mean. Thank you anyway!

Rebecca Black, Etiquette Consultant, Etiquette Now

We all have choices. You decided two years ago to marry. It was a wedding, whether or not it was the one you wanted. And, it is your choice now to plan this.

This doesn’t have anything to do with the military though. The rules are the same for everyone.

Remarriage Expert

Maybe you should have waited for your man to return home to have the wedding you wanted.

The reason you’re having difficulty wording such an invitation is becuse it’s an improper event. As rebecca said, you made a choice and amrried. After being married for so long, it just doesn’t make sense to host a wedding.

We cannot possibly tell you how to word an invitation to an event that is improper. Sorry.