Weddings are always stressful, whether it’s the first, second or “Elizabeth Taylor.” Many, many things contribute to wedding stress, and second weddings usually aren’t any less complex than first ones. With that in mind, let’s look at a few solid tips for avoiding insane stress in the days leading up to your second walk down the aisle:
Discuss Mutual Goals
The first step to avoid second wedding stress is to discuss what you want with your partner. It may even help to write down what you both want and expect from the ceremony and reception, and to go over the lists together. If one or both of you have spawn, you’ll probably want to include them in the planning.
Avoiding Second Marriage Planning Pitfalls
Avoid the following pitfalls when planning your second wedding and enjoy a (at least somewhat) stress-free ceremony:
The Temptation to Elope
It’s easy to just say “screw it” and elope, however it’s usually not the best idea for a second wedding. The event gives family members and friends time to get to know each other and bond, which is essential when creating a strong support system for your union.
Doing the Over-Planning Thing
Remember to relax! Over-planning is super-easy when it comes to weddings, however it’s important to make decisions early and stick to them. This will help you avoid going over your budget limit. Plan three to nine months in advance–think venue, flowers, officiant, caterer, number of guests…you’ll be thankful you did!
Forget the expectations of everyone around you. It can be easy to lose total control over wedding planning when everyone has an opinion they want to share. Remember, this is about you and your soon-to-be life partner. Do what you both want, and while it’s fine to let others help, don’t let them bully you!
Letting it Stay Impersonal
A wedding doesn’t have to be huge or particularly lavish, but it does have to be personal. Work with your wedding officiant in terms of how you want the ceremony to go, and write your own vows if you want. Recognize your children and other important family members, choose any readings you want to share, and otherwise ensure the ceremony screams “you guys.” It’s your wedding–it should reflect both of you and your love!
Planning in Reaction to Your Last Wedding
A common mistake many second-time brides make is planning a wedding as a reaction to their first one. Don’t let the past influence what you want now–weddings are all about love and commitment, so don’t allow the sour taste you have from your first trip down the alter interfere with your new love. Make the wedding as special and personal as you want!