Getting remarried and wondering how to “do it right”? You’re hardly alone. Remember to do whatever you feel comfortable with, but if you are still curious about second wedding etiquette, check out the following frequently-asked questions:
How Should I Announce My Wedding?
If either of you have children, let them know first, especially if they’re younger. The remarriage will affect their lives the most, after all! Tell your parents and immediate family after the kiddies, then inform ex-spouses if you share children together. Tell friends and other relatives after this. If recently widowed or divorced, you may want to hold off on a newspaper announcement, rather wait and announce it yourself. Engagement parties are appropriate, but you might throw a laid-back cocktail party or dinner in your home or favorite bar or restaurant, as opposed to your or your groom’s parents hosting the event.
Is Registering for Gifts Appropriate?
You probably already own much of the home stuff you need, and so does your future hubby. If you’re looking to “fill a few gaps,” go ahead and register, but if you’re rather go the “alternate” route, think wine, books, sporting equipment, or something else you both love. Registering for a honeymoon or a mortgage are also great options.
Friends and family who attended your first wedding may want to skip gifts this time around, and let it go whenever that happens. However, it’s still a new beginning for you, so gifts are still appropriate.
How About a Shower?
You may not need a lot of stuff, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get together with your girlfriends and enjoy a fun day! Spa days, cooking classes, beach days, adventure tours…do whatever you want!
Can I Wear White?
One of the most frequently-asked questions by two-time brides, you can definitely wear white if you want! The association with virginity is pretty much over, but if you’d rather go with a colored option that’s fine too. The veil, however, is still associated with “being untouched,” so you might want to skip that. Pretty tiaras and flowers are lovely alternatives.
Should I Have Attendants?
You definitely need witnesses, and while second-time brides generally don’t have eight bridesmaids, there’s no reason you can’t have beloved friends and family stand up there with you.
Does My Father Escort Me Down the Aisle?
If you and your dad want to make the stroll again, go for it. If you’d rather not, that’s fine too. Walking down the aisle alone is a symbol of an independent woman entering a marriage, so think about what you really want to do.
I Did a Big, Formal Wedding the First Time. Should My Second One Be Low-Key?
If your first wedding was a big to-do, you might want to opt for something subtler this time, lest you be reminded of your first wedding during your second! Young couples tend to have a ton of people invited by their parents, while older couples often opt for more intimate affairs. However, if you eloped in Vegas or went to city hall the first time, don’t hesitate to do a big wedding now!
How Should I Word the Invitation?
Feel free to use traditional wording, though you are probably the ones hosting the event as opposed to your parents. You can still honor your parents; check out this phrasing:
Rebecca Baker Smith and Jonathan Simonsen together with their parents request the honor of your presence at their marriage etc.
How Can We Include Our Children in the Wedding?
Many options are available, such as having your son walk you down the aisle or your daughter as the maid of honor. A special family moment when you exchange vows is also an option, such as lighting a unity candle or having a small sand ceremony. Another option is to present your children with a special family gift during the ceremony. Whatever you decide to do, make sure the kids are comfortable with it.
Do I Have to Tell My Ex-Spouse?
As we already said, if you have children with your ex, yes, it’s a good idea. Otherwise, you really don’t have to worry about it. However, if you’re on good terms with your ex, you might want to let him know!
Enjoy this special time, and remember it’s your wedding–do what you want!
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