Marriage #2: Wedding Party Etiquette

second wedding etiquette
photo credit: randomix via photopin cc
second wedding etiquette
photo credit: randomix via photopin cc

So your best friend has been lucky enough to find the man of her dreams, mach 2. Now what? Check out a few tips concerning showers, attendants, responsibilities and more:

Do Maid of Honor Duties Change?

Not exactly. If you need help with standard Maid of Honor duties, visit Maid of Honor: Her Duties in Detail. However, you’ll probably have to make a few modifications to suit the bride’s needs. For example, no train=no bustling duties. Consider reviewing standard duties with your friend and making any adjustments as needed.

What About Remarriage Etiquette Issues?

As with her first marriage, she’s very likely to appreciate any support, advice and feedback you can offer her, particularly when struggling with etiquette issues.

So What Kind of Shower Should I Throw?

Some second-time brides may not want a shower, while others can’t wait for it. If it’s the former, get creative –going for a hike, spa weekend, concert or play are all excellent options. The same is true regarding shower gifts. While one bride may not need tons of new household items, another may really appreciate a few pre-nuptial presents for her new house or apartment. Today’s gift registries are incredibly diverse, so you’ll have plenty of options for making the bride’s second marriage more personal and modern than her first.

What About “Showering” A Bride Who Wants to Keep Things Low-Key?

Etiquette for any maid of honor, whether it’s the first, second, third or “Elizabeth Taylor” is about being there for the bride, listening to her wants, and doing your darndest to make them happen. If she says no to a shower, that’s one less thing for you to deal with. You could always arrange a one-on-one outing for both of you–it’ll feel intimate and special without the craziness. For a traditional experience, consider taking her to a tea parlor, going out for coffee, drinks, dinner or the aforementioned spa. Whatever you decide, it’s about doing something together that celebrates her upcoming nuptials. Oh, and you pay for it.

Are Attendants Appropriate?

She definitely needs witnesses to sign her marriage license, which usually falls to the Maid of Honor and Best Man, however any two adults can do it. Some remarrying couples eschew lots of attendants, but regardless the bride can absolutely have her closest friends, children, siblings and parents at her side if she wants.

What About Theme Showers Featuring Practical Gifts?

Plenty of great themes are available that don’t dwell on domestic gift-giving. What about an “experiential” theme? “Lessons” are always an option, such as cooking, sculpting, or ballroom dancing. Other ideas include museum/health-club memberships; a concert or opera series; or just about anything else that’s fun and practical. Is she into wine? Give her wine glasses, corkscrew, wine rack and wine-tasting classes. Does she love the great outdoors? Check out gifts such as gardening tools, skis, hiking/camping equipment and bike gear.

Keep these tips in mind and you’ll be in excellent shape! Enjoy!

 

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